Dating Today

Dear Goldy:

 Almost a year ago, after 23 years of marriage, my husband left me. He said it was one of those “wait for the kids to get older so they can handle it better” type of situations. Really? Because I was in the dark about that. I didn’t know he was waiting to divorce me. I didn’t know he was putting on a happy face and making sure to say all the right things at the right times. When I told him that he said he thought it was an unspoken agreement between us, he was shocked that I was shocked. He said he thought I knew that we weren’t getting along anymore, had different interests, grew apart. I forgot all he said – but whatever it was, “we” hadn’t done any of it. He did.

Dear Goldy:

One of my friends redt a shidduch for me. The guy was one of her husband’s friends. I was told up front that he lives in France, but “is moving” to New York, so the next few months may have a lot back and forth. I was fine with that.

Dear Goldy:

Don’t yell when I tell you I’m 27 and was fed up with the whole dating thing. Every fellow was a cookie-cutter image of the previous one I went out with, except for their names and professions. I didn’t want to date “this type.”

This is one letter that I was hoping would be sent, but I didn’t want to hold out hope. I also didn’t want to hound the woman who wrote the original email. But imagine my surprise when I opened my email and saw her address in my inbox.

I am going to begin by typing that I’m aware that this is a very sensitive topic for some. I will be as delicate as possible.

Sometimes the answer is easy. Sometimes it isn’t. I don’t think there is anything wrong in admitting that sometimes you don’t have the answer. It keeps us human and grounded and also gives us the opportunity to learn from others who may know the answers we seek. I didn’t know how to respond to this email, but I didn’t avoid or ignore it. I did my best.