Dating Today

Dear Goldy:

I’m dating “Avi.” He’s very busy at work. He works all the time. Calls come in at all hours. He must take the calls. Even if we’re together. He’s said that he told his assistant not to bother him unless it was an “emergency.” So, if the assistant calls, he picks up. I’m understanding about this. I know it comes with the territory – I want someone in the “business world” and today, nothing is a 9-to-5 job anymore. But Avi doesn’t have a job. He has a position, a career, a bright future.

This happens, without fail, every June and July, since I began the “Dating Today” column. It comes in all forms: emails, face-to-face with someone on Main Street, etc. It’s the question or comment about the girls who came home from seminary during the previous few weeks/months. Often, they are referred to as “the/a new crop” of eligible girls, or something similar. I just love it when someone is comparing human beings to corn or wheat, or even livestock. [Sigh] Technically, it’s not too far from the truth, I hate to admit.

Dear Goldy:

I broke my engagement a few weeks ago. All I’ll say (and that’s the issue) is that I realized she wasn’t the girl for me. And I truly believe it wasn’t bashert. It was such a relief once I broke things off. Before that, I was smiling and saying all the right things because that was what was expected of me. I feel so much better now.

Nobody knows everything about everything. I am the first to admit when I don’t know the answer to a question or how to do something, and so I ask for help. A great leader knows when to lead and when to listen. A great leader doesn’t always have to have the answer. They also know when they need assistance. I’m not comparing myself to any sort of leader. I’m simply saying that I don’t think I know everything, and I know my limitations.

Dear Goldy:

I am dating a “fellow” whom I have wanted to date for a year. He was always busy, but now we’re both available. In short, he checks all my boxes, and his family is wonderful. They are known throughout the community as giving and welcoming. Sounds great, right? The times that we have gone out have been good, but sometimes aren’t as good as other times.

Dear Goldy:

I’m not complaining about my feelings – as you always write. But the truth is I feel bad. It’s the summertime, I’m of a mature age, and I would love to go on a vacation somewhere, a cruise, a tour...something. This past year, the last of my single friends got married. It used to be that a group of us would vacation in the summer or winter. But as the years went on, our numbers dwindled, and it’s just me left. I don’t want to take a trip or go lounge on a tropical beach by myself. And I sure as heck don’t want to spend my summers at the New York City beaches.