Dating Today

Dear Goldy:

I know I will come off sounding like a selfish child, but you always say not to apologize for your feelings. There are a few people who know how I feel: my parents and my siblings. Not my friends or my will-be-chasan. Yes, “will be,” because he has unofficially proposed. By the time you publish my letter (if you do) I may be officially engaged.

Dear Goldy:

This can actually be a chapter if you wrote a sequel to The Best of My Worst. This happened to my son a couple of weeks back. My son is in his early 30s and has dated for a long time and never had a date quite like the one I will write about. My question is: Is this how millennials behave? I can’t believe an adult who was seemingly raised in a “normal” family could be this clueless, unaware, immature about life and social interactions.

Dear Goldy:

I’m able to relate to some of what you write about. I’m 33 years old and working full time, but not a professional. I never attended college and am not what you call “white collar.” I’m a hard worker and I believe that I have a lot to offer a wife. There have been times when I take a girl out on a date and she says something to the effect of, “Usually I date doctors or lawyers.” I’m not sure how to respond to that. From the start, girls know that I am not a “suit-and-tie, 9-to-5 type.” I don’t make it a secret. The shadchanim know and tell the girl. I make a very good living and have impeccable manners, always treating everyone fairly and with kindness. How do I respond to comments such as this? Are girls trying to say that they will give me a chance even though I am not the type they usually date? Are they trying to say that they can date others who are “better than me?” They may think they are giving me a compliment. I don’t appreciate this comment or others like it.

Dear Goldy:

I don’t know why, but the last few guys I went out with were more like boys than men. On paper, they all look good. Then we go out and it could go either way: poor table and eating manners but great conversationalist, or vice versa. But once we get to the part of the conversation where we ask each other, “What do you like to do?” or what hobbies you have, their answers are unattractive to me, even childish.

Dear Goldy:

This happened a while ago, but it’s an argument that I still have with my family. I was dating someone, and we were in between the beginning stage and the “we have been dating for a long time” stage. Basically, we were having a good time, but weren’t so serious yet, or at least I wasn’t.

Dear Goldy:

My chasan and I are writing this together. We are unofficially engaged and want to become official, but there is one thing that is bothering him, and he thinks it will affect me and what people will say about me and to me.