Dating Today

Dear Goldy:

I am so frustrated! I don’t know if I’m dating the wrong type of men or if this is how men are acting now, but I can’t stand it. The last few guys I went out with never seemed like they were in a rush for anything having to do with dating. For work, I’m sure they were on time, and I’m sure they were never late for dinner, as my mom says; but when it came to dating, they were very S…L...O…W, relaxed if you will, not in any rush. And it was more than just being cautious and careful about choosing the right person to date and marry; it was like they almost couldn’t be bothered with dating.

 This is a dating article, believe it or not; it may not seem like it at first glance, but it is.

Last week, I published a letter from a young woman named Chaya who needed to vent and asked for advice.

I disagree with what the email writer states in the first sentence of her letter. This is definitely a question related to dating. We date everyone in our lives, not only our spouses. Think about it: When someone new enters your life, you spend time getting to know him – his likes and dislikes. You develop your own way of communicating with this person. You don’t communicate the same way you do with your boss, your friend, and your mother. Every relationship has its rules. In time, you learn the best ways to spend time with this new person in your life that causes you the least amount of stress. The letter writer, Shani, found her chasan. Now she is learning how to date his mother.

Believe it or not, I have been waiting for this type of letter to be sent to me. Yes, I could have always chosen to write about the topic, but I decided to wait until someone chose to pick this topic to write about. It has been close to a year, but the email finally came. The reason I waited is because I want the readers of this column to read the words the writer chose and hear the passion in her voice. Only a person who believes in something strongly will have the emotion needed to get her message across to others. I am answering from the side of reality. I’m not for or against what the writer is writing, because I know some who are doing just what she is talking about and are doing fine.

 I inherited many traits from my mother. One of them was her love of everything royal. She loved listening to any story that featured the British Royals. I, too, find myself interested in the little tidbits of information reported by the news or gossip columnists – not really caring if the facts were accurate, but I’d reason them all out in my own head. Yes, I was riveted to the Oprah interview with Harry and Meghan. It was marked on my calendar, and I spent nearly every commercial break calling my sister (who does not care as much as I do), arguing about what was just stated during the interview.