Dating Today

 Dear Goldy:

My son is 30 and out of the house.  I guess you can say that it sounds like a normal situation, but it isn’t for me.  All of my children have lived at home until they married.  But my youngest always did things a little differently.  He moved to the city a few years ago and enjoys the city life with friends and going out after work.  He calls and visits, but not as often as I would like.  That may be the point of my letter, although my husband said I don’t need to write because there is nothing to worry about.

 I truly believe the email writer when she writes that she is trying to help a co-worker. I don’t think the dilemma is hers. I think she wants to help her “co-worker.” But sometimes you will find out that one doesn’t necessarily want or need advice, but is completely happy in an unhealthy relationship. And I think the email writer should realize that her co-worker does not really want her situation to change because she continues to give ultimatums and deadlines to the boyfriend; deadlines pass and the co-worker never follows through on the ultimatums she herself set.

 PSA to singles: Just because a shadchan says something to you, it doesn’t mean it’s true. In order to date, you must have what they used to call “a strong constitution.” Don’t cry or cave or have a pity party because someone insults you or says what you feel is an insult. The dating “game” can be cruel at times. All I can say is: Believe in yourself and know who you are, inside and out. You’ll have a better chance of surviving the Survival game until you reach the chupah.

It appears that some of my most recent articles have been hot topics, the first being my Dear John letter to the neighborhood I love – emphasis on the word “love.” Another article was the letter Chaya wrote to me about thinking that her dream of living life as a kollel wife has gone up in smoke because of the financial effects COVID has had on her parents’ savings and, added to that, it appeared that Chaya wanted her parents to stop helping her siblings who were already living the kollel life. “If they can’t help me, they shouldn’t help them either” is what her letter sounded like.

 This emailer thought I would be the perfect person to ask advice from because of my story. While it may seem that way, there were many twists, turns, obstacles, and hardships from date number one with my husband until he stepped on the glass under the chupah. My story isn’t your typical story. But I did my best with how I responded.

I like to give credit where it is due, and if I quote a movie, song, or teacher, I mention the source. This time, however, forgive me that I do not remember the source of what I am about to write about. All I remember is that it is a male comedian, and it was one of his sets called, “I Tried My Best.”