To get married in Israel, the couple must register with the Israeli Rabbanut by opening a file (“tik nisuin”) at their local religious council. They must bring various documents, proof of being Jewish, a certificate of kashrus from the wedding hall, and witnesses who can testify that they know the chasan and kallah as single.
Being in active service has some advantages. Registration for marriage costs over 700 IS, but a chasan serving in the army or national service gets a 40 percent discount. This is also true for someone learning in yeshivah or university, an oleh chadash who is getting married within the first two years of aliyah, and someone with special needs as recognized by the Department of Social Services. But serving in the army also has disadvantages. Both the chasan and kallah must go to the office to register. This is difficult impossible to do when the office is never open when the chasan is back home from the field.
My daughter called the office and was told that her chasan should give her power of attorney. So, she sat down at our computer, diligently typed up a statement giving her power of attorney, signed her chasan’s name, and printed it. With her power of attorney in hand, she and her friend headed to the Ministry of Religious Services.
When they arrived at the office, the rav asked why she came with a friend and not with her chasan. He told her in no uncertain terms that there was no way she could register without him. My daughter explained that he was in the army and was therefore unable to come. Even on the rare occasion when he gets out for Shabbos, the office is closed on Fridays. The rav was not happy about this at all. He told them to go into the next room where the rabbanit was sitting.
The rabbanit was more understanding of my daughter’s predicament and was willing to work with her. She asked that she bring a second witness to testify that she is single. My daughter’s friend, who works nearby, ran over to fill this role. Normally, a digital photo would be taken of the chasan for documentation, but, in his absence, this wasn’t possible. My daughter picked out a photo of him on her phone and the rabbanit photographed the picture on the phone. It was the best they could do.
My daughter’s friend asked the rabbanit to daven that she, too, should get married. The rabbanit told them she had recently returned from a visit to Kerestir, Hungary, where Reb Shaya’le of Kerestir is buried. It had been his yahrzeit several weeks before, and she had been among the thousands who had made the pilgrimage to his kever. To demonstrate that she was “still surrounded by the aura of holiness” that had enveloped her while on her trip, she moved her hands in a circular motion in front of her body. In that elevated spirit, she gave heartfelt brachos to my daughter and her chasan that they should have a long and happy life together, and to her friend that she should quickly find the boy she is destined to marry. My daughter walked out of the office with her marriage license in her hand, and a good feeling in her heart.
We were unable to use our car to travel to our wedding. Don’t ask. So, we rented one. When my husband arrived at the dealer, the woman behind the counter took one look at him and sized him up immediately. She said he looked like he would have been eligible for the Shabbos discount (no charge for Shabbos) had he ordered the car through the local branch. But since he didn’t, he couldn’t have it. The woman felt that he deserved the discount so, to compensate, she threw in a few perks for free.
As he filled out the papers, my husband told her he was renting the car for a wedding and that the chasan had just gotten out of Gaza. When the woman heard this, she got all choked up. My husband offered to daven for her at the wedding. She wrote her name down on a piece of paper along with a list of things she wanted us to daven for. On her wish list was a request that the chayalim return home safely.
We are living in difficult times. With so much pain and sadness in the air, people appreciate the smachos so much more and wish only good things for their fellow Jews. We are all in this together.
Please continue to daven for the recovery of the wounded, the release of the remaining hostages, and the success and safe return of all the chayalim and security personnel.
Suzie Steinberg, (nee Schapiro), CSW, is a native of Kew Gardens Hills and resident of Ramat Beit Shemesh who publishes articles regularly in various newspapers and magazines about life in general, and about life in Israel in particular. Her recently published children’s book titled Hashem is Always With Me can be purchased in local Judaica stores as well as online. Suzie can be reached at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and would love to hear from you.
