When a child comes home and announces, “I don’t like my teacher,” it can leave a parent unsettled. Our instinct may be to jump to conclusions—blaming the teacher, questioning the school, or even feeling frustrated with our child for being “difficult.” These reactions are understandable. At the same time, pausing before responding can open the door to more thoughtful support.
In many cases, a child’s discomfort reflects the normal adjustment to a new teacher. Every educator has a different style, personality, and way of managing a classroom. What felt comfortable last year may look very different this year, and children often need time to adapt. In these situations, the most supportive approach is often patience, encouraging your child through the adjustment, while gently monitoring whether the difficulty eases with time.
Other times, complaints about a teacher may signal that something deeper may be happening. As academic expectations increase, underlying learning challenges sometimes become harder to hide. What once “flew under the radar” may now cause frustration or resistance. When this is the case, parents may want to consider an evaluation. Evaluations can range from brief screenings to comprehensive assessments, and a psychologist can help guide which option is appropriate.
In some cases, the concern lies less with the child and more with the classroom environment. Not all teachers bring the same level of experience or natural skill. Some are exceptionally strong; others may struggle. For parents, this creates a delicate balance: validating a child’s feelings without encouraging disrespect. Some children look for parents to join in criticizing the teacher, while others assume any problem must be their own fault. Jewish parents also face the additional consideration of lashon hara, which can remind us to tread carefully in how we respond, and can make it challenging to validate our child’s perspective.
There are also times when the struggles point to the need for professional support. If a child consistently dreads school, shows ongoing anxiety or irritability, complains of frequent stomachaches or headaches, or experiences a noticeable dip in mood and self-confidence, it may be wise to reach out for help. A qualified therapist can give both parent and child tools to cope more effectively and can prevent the issue from becoming a longer-term emotional burden.
Finally, it’s worth acknowledging that a child’s struggles can sometimes stir up a parent’s own memories. Many adults carry strong feelings - positive or painful - about their school years. When our children struggle, it can awaken those old emotions and influence our reactions. Asking ourselves, “Am I responding to my child’s reality, or to my own past?” can help us stay grounded. The more self-awareness we bring to our parenting, the more effectively we can support our children.
A child disliking their teacher is not uncommon, and it does not automatically signal a crisis. But it is an opportunity for parents to listen closely, to reflect carefully, and to respond with empathy and patience. These situations are quite complicated, and this article is not a complete list of possibilities and solutions; it is only meant to facilitate thoughtfulness about this delicate issue.
Yehuda Roberts, LCSW, practices at his offices in Connecticut and Queens. For questions, comments, or to inquire about services, he can be reached at 216-509-3056.
