Parshiyos B’Haaloscha, Sh’lach, Korach – these are all parshiyos where B’nei Yisrael had incredible nisyonos (challenges, tests). Even for the nation who lived with the Sh’chinah: Eating mann, drinking water from a rock, being surrounded by the Clouds of Glory (knowing that outside the clouds was a vast dangerous desert), and seeing the pillar of cloud/fire above the Mishkan – they had nisyonos on their level that we can’t even relate to. (However, we must realize that over a 40-year period, they had ten nisyonos in which they could’ve done better! We have, like, ten nisyonos over a 40-minute period that we could have done better!)
When we have a nisayon (and realize it), and we succeed, then we feel amazing!
How about all the many times when we have challenges and hardships, and we don’t necessarily see that we were successful? How about the times that we feel that we really messed up?
Let’s try to explain with the following true story.
A friend of mine, Michah, told me his story. This story happened to him and his family close to 20 years ago. They had made aliyah some years prior and had gone to the US for a visit. Michah emptied out their safety deposit box, with all their family jewelry and valuables, to bring back to Israel. They also brought several bundles of cash. The return trip went well, arriving in Israel on a Friday morning. They took a taxi home from the airport. The driver was a real shmoozer (as many Israeli taxi drivers are), and thinking they were tourists, began to ask them all about their travel plans. They told him they had made aliyah, and now they were returning home. He said, “that’s so beautiful. How will you make Shabbat now?” “Oh, we have friends and neighbors to help us,” they replied. He dropped them off at their house and left. They brought in all their luggage and began to prepare for Shabbos. There was no time to go to the bank, so they put the jewelry and cash into bedroom closets.
On Shabbos evening, they had their s’udah with some nearby neighbors. Afterwords, they returned home, and to their shock and dismay, they saw that the front door was open. Entering, they realized right away that they had been robbed! It didn’t take long to discover that all the cash and jewelry were gone! Not having security cameras, they could only guess at to what had happened. The area was semi-shomer Shabbos, so a car driving around wouldn’t have aroused suspicion. They were only able to report it to the police on Motza’ei Shabbos. The police came and took evidence from the scene, but there seemed to be little hope of finding the thief. Evidence pointed to an inside job, suspicion on the taxi driver, but they didn’t have any way to track him.
Michah was just a little upset. Okay, majorly upset and depressed! He blamed himself for not being more careful, having too many valuables in an unguarded place – he didn’t know what to do. A friend suggested that Michah should go speak with a rabbi for some guidance. “How’s a rabbi gonna help me? He could return what was lost? I don’t know any rabbis to talk to!” This was Michah’s response. His friend told him about a special rabbi in Yerushalayim, an American rosh yeshivah who was one of the greatest rabbis around, Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg zt”l, Rosh Yeshivah of Yeshiva Torah Ore. Go speak to him, it will surely help. Michah responded, “What do I have to lose, just some time that I’m not using anyway. I’m broken and depressed. Fine, I’ll go.”
Michah went to the yeshivah, located in the Mattersdorf neighborhood, northern Yerushalayim. He was shown into Rabbi Scheinberg’s office. Michah saw the Rosh Yeshivah sitting there, wearing his t’filin and many pairs of tzitzis, with a pleasant smile on his face. “How can I help you?” asked the Rosh Yeshivah. Michah told over the whole sad story.
The Rosh Yeshivah waited until Michah finished. Then he turned, pointing out the window toward the north, and said, “Before 1967, we were here in this area, and the Jordanians were over there, with their guns pointed straight at us. No one knew what would be. When the Six-Day War began, they started shooting at us. Everyone was scared, not knowing the future. Baruch Hashem, they’re long gone, and we’re still here. When we’re in a difficult situation, we need to just try our best, try to correct what we can, and most importantly, keep smiling and keep going!”
Michah thanked the Rosh Yeshivah and left, feeling just a little confused. Walking down the road, he tried to make sense of what he was told. Keep smiling and keep going? How will that help? He kept walking, thinking about it. Pretty soon he was humming to himself “keep smiling, keep going” and began to have a good feeling.
Suddenly, someone stopped him. “Michah? Is that you?” It was an old friend whom Michah hadn’t seen in many years. He told Michah that he was a rebbi in a yeshivah in the area, invited him in, and began to catch up. (Turns out he was actually the Rosh Yeshivah). They soon arranged a learning session together, something that Michah hadn’t had in a long time. He began to learn Torah part time and picked himself up to go on.
Michah never got back any of the stolen items. However, his life did change for the better from that extremely challenging incident.
We all have challenges, and sometimes we don’t feel that we were successful. From some we are very hurt, embarrassed, and even worse. How do we react? Do we blame ourselves, and feel guilty? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Should I have done better, acted differently? Sometimes the answer is obvious, but many times it’s all very confusing.
I heard the following explanation from one of the mashgichim in Eretz Yisrael: In our times, there is so much happening, and so quickly, with so many different factors flying around, that it’s very difficult to pinpoint any one action and say with certainty, “This is definitely what I did wrong! This was my mistake!”
So, what should be done?
If there’s an area that clearly needs correction, work on that.
For a situation that’s unclear, get direction from our rabbis, daas Torah, their guidance as what to do, together with t’shuvah, t’filah for Divine assistance, and to give tz’dakah.
However, always keep in mind Rav Scheinberg’s advice: Just keep smiling and keep going!
May we be zocheh to have siyata diShmaya, and to succeed in overcoming all our nisyonos!
By Dov Chaitovsky
