Do you know how to cope with stress or how to manage your sadness or defeatism? Mastering this skill would sure make life a lot smoother, wouldn’t it? First things first, sweet friends: we need to learn to identify our emotions. Believe it or not, you may have no idea what you are feeling at any given moment in time.
You know what they say: I thought being an adult meant I could eat dessert first. Turns out, being an adult means questioning whether you can afford dessert at all. Then again, being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.
But sincerely, some of us think that we either feel good or bad, but guess what? Those are not your true feelings. Need some help? Your body will give you signals. If you observe tension, please simply accept it. Do not try to fight it. If you’ve got issues, I’ve got tissues.
You may be tempted to want to get rid of those negative emotions, but healthy people allow themselves to not only recognize their feelings, but to feel them fully. Make a practice of checking in with yourself during the day. Ask: What am I feeling right now?
Pay attention to how you interpret events. Do you tend to personalize his behavior often? You can learn to reframe the way you perceive things. We all experience setbacks, yet some view them as opportunities for growth or challenge. Do you?
Look for ways to express how you feel. Write in a journal, create music or artwork, or simply share with a friend or loved one whom you trust. Bottling up those negative emotions can have harmful effects on your body as well as your mental health.
Please do lean on your friends. Close relationships will provide you with strength and emotional resilience when you need it the most. They can not only validate you but offer you perspective and a healthier way to look at your situation at times.
You may be having stomachaches, headaches, or even fatigue lately. Your body and emotional well-being are completely connected. We all need reminders to eat a healthy diet, get those zzzzz’s, and exercise regularly. Well, you know what they say: When life hands you lemons, hand them back. You deserve chocolate. You know the definition of dieting: when everything you really want is on the other side of the door. Trust me, I get it.
We know that exercise releases those neurotransmitter “feel-good” chemicals in our bodies, so what is stopping you? Sometimes my workouts are so strenuous that I reward myself by taking a year or two off. But seriously, anxiety is inevitable, but how you respond and react to it will determine your mood, sweet friends. Do you engage in negative self-talk all day long? Do you dramatize and catastrophize daily events?
Do use relaxation techniques, please. Breathe deeply and consider daily meditation. If you want to be able to handle life’s hardships and headaches, you must take care of yourself.
Learn coping mechanisms to handle those truly overwhelming, complex emotions. Do not bury your feelings. This will take quite the toll on you. Chronic stress can weaken your immune system. When your mind is absorbed and engrossed in unresolved emotions, it can be utterly draining mentally and physically.
You may find it hard to concentrate or even remember things when you are under stress. Nervous tension can make it difficult to learn or even to retain information. Apparently, exercise helps you with decision-making. It’s true. I went for a run this morning and decided I’m never going again. Got up at 5 a.m., five-mile run completed, prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast…don’t remember the rest of the dream. Just kidding. But truly, feelings need to be processed, not pushed down.
Don’t believe me? Try boiling something in a pot on your stovetop. Leave the lid on. And guess what? Eventually, it will all bubble over. I know you’ve been there. I sure have. Unaddressed feelings also create internal pressure, sweet friends.
You have the power to break free from emotional repression. What feelings are you avoiding or ignoring in your life? Please give those emotions the care and attention they deserve.
After all, it’s been said: You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
