I know y’all have heard about how important it is for your self-care to set boundaries with others. Just where and how do you draw that line? No doubt some days you simply have more to give than others. So remember that what he has to offer you may also vary day to day.
What do you think it means to love yourself? At its core, it means you care for your own needs and wants. It can also mean understanding yourself at a deeper level and extending compassion for yourself.
Practicing self-acceptance is not becoming egotistical, sweet friends. How do you act toward yourself? Do you have habits and routines which give you a feeling of self-respect? Yes, you turned on the wrong burner and have been cooking nothing for 20 minutes. I get it. We all make mistakes. When you’re behind a slow car, do you also steer your car a little to the right so the people behind you can see it isn’t your fault? Me too.
But truly, do you reprimand yourself a lot? This behavior damages your relationship with yourself. Forgive your insecurities, please. Reclaim your own time and spend some of it on yourself. Set aside a few precious minutes to do anything that calms you or makes you feel good.
Don’t be embarrassed about your unique traits. Celebrate your unusual attributes. Listen, life is too short to be normal. Stay weird. Responsibility may weigh on your head all day. Liberate your mind and do what offers you peace of mind.
So you don’t know whether you found a rope or lost your horse? I get it. What are the small things that you can do to show yourself self-love? Condition your hair. After all, beauty comes from within. And by inside, I mean inside the hair salon. Just kidding. But sincerely, express gratitude. Eat your favorite food. I only eat in three places: here, there, and everywhere. Enjoy some time in nature. When was the last time you lay in the grass and just enjoyed the sun on your face?
What brightens your life? Are your friends supportive and uplifting? Please find some who are. In addition, you can pamper yourself without breaking the bank. Attend to yourself every now and then. Relax in a hot bath or treat yourself to a massage if that’s your pleasure.
If your so-called friend is draining your energy, if he criticizes you way too often, know that he may be preventing you from loving yourself in the right way. If she takes advantage of your kindness or spreads negativity everywhere she goes, you may have to keep her at arm’s length.
Indeed, it’s hard to turn wounds into wisdom. You know what they say: Life’s not fair, but it’s still good—especially when there’s pizza. Pizza is like duct tape; it fixes everything.
But seriously, surround yourself with things and people who make you smile. I’ve heard it said: Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. Once you accept your own shortcomings, no one can use them against you. Do you have artwork in your home that inspires you? Heck, if it ain’t Baroque, don’t fix it. What was the last great book you read?
Loving yourself may have ups and downs. There will be days when you may not feel okay. You might even feel sad or defeated at times. Part of caring for yourself is accepting your feelings without criticizing yourself too much. Prioritize your needs so that you can protect your own health and happiness.
It takes time to learn how to actually appreciate or adore yourself. Do not dwell on your mistakes or flaws. Is your relationship with yourself healthy? Sure, it’s been said: I am the hero of my own story, but sometimes I need a stunt double. Uncovering the source of your negative feelings is not easy. Unraveling trauma or trying to heal from past wounds can be overwhelming. Do not wound yourself even further. Focus on self-compassion, please.
Remember, it’s been said: Live each day like it’s your last because one day, you’ll be right.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
