Do you wish to understand others better? People can surely be confusing and complicated. So how do you judge his character or motivations? If you observe the little things she does, trust me: You may learn quite a lot.
Your habits drop hints about your personality, sweet friends. I don’t have bad habits. I’m good at all of them.
But seriously, have you paid close attention to his posture or body language when you are with him? Body language and even some non-verbal clues, like the way he moves his hands, can offer many hints. Does he clench his fists in anger often? You may notice her crossing her arms in defensiveness at times. Take the time to observe.
Her “status,” profile, and the way she presents herself on Instagram reveals a lot about her character, as well. How do you want to be seen on social media? You know what they say: There are two sides to every story. Then there are screen shots. Truthfully, you may simply be more private than him; but do take notice. His tweets offer insights into his way of thinking, and her choice of photos conveys a great deal more than you think.
You can actually tell a lot about her by her online behavior. When helping the poor, leave the camera at home. Then again, some people go broke trying to look rich. Ugh, he doesn’t answer texts for hours. She sends endless memes and long emails all day long.
Notice the way people dress. She always looks “sporty.” She seems to value comfort over style, while you may love to express yourself through your fashion sense. Oh, she makes shoe contact before she makes eye contact. Clothes are a part of your personal identity. Check out his music playlist to peek into his inner world. Rap or opera? What’s your pleasure?
If someone is rude to the waiter, know that this is a telling aspect of his makeup. Choose friends who are nice to strangers. If she returns the shopping cart at Target, she shows decency and kindness to others. You know they say Target should put carts in the middle of the store for when “just two things” turns out to be half of aisle 10.
Granted, it’s been said: A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle. Does she look at you when you share? If he never makes eye contact, he may simply be shy or nervous around you. But if you wish to read others and make them feel seen, please look into their eyes.
Observe his automatic behavioral tendencies, otherwise known as habits. Most of us are actually unaware of our own patterns or how they even formed. However, they play a significant role in how you think, feel, and even act. Is it easy or difficult for you to verbalize your thoughts and emotions?
Believe it or not, even the way you walk may say a great deal about you. Check out the myriads of ways that people walk down the street. Are you the one in the group who is hard to keep up with or do you prefer a stroll? Look at his posture. Is his head held high? Are his shoulders back, exuding confidence?
He may savor his food and eat slowly, enjoying every bite, while you eat so quickly, you are done before his first bite. How does she shop? She might be impulsive and spend on pricey things, indulging and treating herself well. He might take a bit of time to be sure of his purchases. Perhaps he spends more on necessities like utilities or groceries. If you are an impulsive shopper, you may have come to believe that shopping can alleviate your mental distress. You know what they say: Shopping is the craft of persuading yourself you really want something you never knew existed five minutes prior.
Your daily “to do” list conveys a lot about you. How tidy and organized are you? Perhaps you get overwhelmed with workplace stressors. You can view pressure as challenging or look at it through a negative lens, becoming overwhelmed.
Pay attention to why you wish to participate in certain activities over other ones. Extroverts tend to love the gym, whereas introverts may be more drawn to art or literature. Got up at 5 a.m., 8-km run completed, prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast… Don’t remember the rest of the dream.
But truly, personality traits may very well change over time, sweet friends. If you sincerely wish to be the best version of yourself, you can acquire new habits. It’s been said: We first make our habits. Then our habits make us.
Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens. She works with individuals, couples, and families. Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends. She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.
