I’m one of those Jews who gets bothered by the small stuff. I’m living in Baltimore for about two and a half years now, and I take note of a lot of little oddities. Yet these oddities may define the town. My kids think that I am annoyed by these issues, but I am really amused, not annoyed. Peri and I very much miss the wonderful community of Kew Gardens Hills, but we have adjusted well to things here, baruch Hashem.
To start with (and my kids think I’m completely off the rails about this), there are no entrance or exit signs leading in and out of mall parking lots. None. Furthermore, there are no directions with painted arrows showing which way to exit. So, if you are new to a mall, you are on your own to figure your way out.
My kids say that if you are here long enough, you will figure it out. Secondly, use Waze and it will get you out. All that may be true, but why can’t they just have directions like every other normal mall? I don’t get it.
Then there are the longest traffic lights I’ve ever had to wait for. You know: the kind that you wonder if the light is broken. But nobody honks if the guy in front of you does not start going when the other side turns yellow (except for some New Yorkers like me). And very few start inching up when they figure the light should be changing.
They do not klap in shul. If Minchah starts with Ashrei, you will figure it out by the chazan shukling with his talis on. Same with Shacharis: no klap to put you on notice. This is true in the few shuls that I have davened in.
There are very few announcements made. Yes, I know that the schedules are emailed during the week, but how about reminding everyone when Minchah will be, or that the Rav is giving a shiur that day? I made a bit of an issue of this as the new nudnick in the shul, and they do make announcements on Shabbos now.
If you’re looking for action, this is the wrong town. While race relations are quite good in general, there is an occasional flareup in crime, which could put things on edge. But it doesn’t.
About a year and a half ago, the rav of my shul asked for an aliyah on a Thursday morning and he followed with the HaGomel brachah, thanking Hashem for saving him from a bad situation. After davening, he explained that he was carjacked the night before at gunpoint. He was glad to be left alive, but he regrets losing a sefer by Rav Chaim Volozhiner in the process.
After davening, I was curious as to when and where the crime happened. Nobody else seemed to be interested. The Rav said that he was carjacked, so that’s all we need to know. I am still scratching my head over that. (The car was ultimately recovered by the police, along with the sefer.)
Better than that, I was giving my daily Mishnah B’rurah shiur to KGH men and others elsewhere in the world via Zoom, when someone jokingly called out, “Hey, Rabbi, was that you who was raided by the FBI?”
I had no idea what he was talking about. Some of the chevrah then explained that there was a news item that a certain rabbi who lives about three blocks away from me had some children and grandchildren staying by him. It turns out that one of the sons-in-law had a cell-phone number that was the same as a drug lord, so the FBI raided the house with guns drawn, only to see little kids playing in the living room. Whoops. That’s our FBI.
I had to find out about an FBI raid of a rabbi in Baltimore from a KGH fellow in the shiur.
I heard absolutely zero about this story, even as a follow-up. No one here was particularly phased by it. I’ve told people that if that happened in Queens, the place would have been abuzz for a week. And some of the wisenheimers would have said, “You really believe the rabbi didn’t have something going on? The FBI doesn’t pull off a raid without a reason!”
The best way to sum it up is that if you want hock, don’t think of moving here; it is one hundred percent hockless.
I realize being hockless may be unexciting, but it’s a good way of living. People are less tense. There is less lashon ha’ra (evil gossiping) and more time for learning and doing chesed, which is done very generously here. I also notice that there is quite a sense of achdus (unity) in the community. Rabbanim are respected and obeyed with little question. A year ago, the rabbanim said to attend the rally in Washington and people attended in big numbers. So did the rabbanim.
I still wish there were directions in the mall parking lots. But I guess it’s a price worth paying to keep things on an “as you need to know” basis.
*****
It is very difficult to avoid writing about the current “hostage deal” between Israel and Hamas ym”sh. But Rav Asher Weiss shlita very wisely said that those who do not have children fighting in the army and those who do not have family that have hostages held should not be making public statements at this time. The sentiments are too raw on all sides.
What I will say is that, yes, it is disappointing to see that President Donald Trump considers this a “great deal.” His definition of “they will have H to pay” means the Israelis. But what is encouraging are the great friends and supporters of Israel whom he has nominated. It is also sobering to note that part of the deal was to allow Israel to attain the critical arms that the Biden administration held back. It was worse than I realized.
One thing arises from all of this: There is no nation on Earth that must deal with gut-wrenching decisions like the Israelis. No nation is asked to return thousands of terrorists to redeem a handful of innocent hostages. No matter where the thoughts were on the agreement, all Israelis, even those in flight on El Al, rejoiced as though each hostage was their sister.
There is no better way to express it than: Mi k’amcha Yisrael! No nation is like us.
Rabbi Yoel Schonfeld is the Rabbi Emeritus of the Young Israel of Kew Gardens Hills, President of the Coalition for Jewish Values, former President of the Vaad Harabonim of Queens, and the Rabbinic Consultant for the Queens Jewish Link.