Feelin’ Funny: Mordechai Schmutter

If you think about it, there are so many things that you only do when you’re in a car.  Like talk to yourself.  Most people don’t generally talk to themselves, but when they get behind the wheel of a car, they definitely do.  Mostly loshon hara about the other drivers.

Every year, in honor of Presidents’ Day, I write a list of fun facts about one of our nation’s Presidents, going in order, because in general, the only non-living presidents of whom people know their contributions to American culture are Washington, Lincoln, and that time that Taft got stuck in his bathtub. 

At some point in your life, you’re probably going to have to paint a wall, particularly if you’re a homeowner or if you’re a home renter who is trying to hide certain funny stories from the landlord.

With Pesach approaching, you’re probably wondering, “What are we going to do about eggs this year?  Should we raise our own chickens?  It has to be cheaper.”

I hate thinking of topics.  And I’m a writer.  It’s literally the worst part of what I do for a living, other than the pay.  So the last thing I want to do over supper, when I’m not working for a few minutes, is continue to think of topics for us to talk about.  Every single night.  But that’s what I have to do. 

I hate washing dishes.  Especially on melted cheese night.  My kids are melting cheese on everything.

I’m like, “Don’t have so much cheese.  How about some vegetable soup?”