Feelin’ Funny: Mordechai Schmutter

Ever since our kids came home with chickens, everyone we tell wants to know if they’re boys or girls.  Like it really matters.  I’ll tell you like this: I’ve had numerous animals in my house over the years – kittens, snakes, parakeets, a hamster, various fish…  I don’t think I’ve ever known if any of them were boys or girls.  I kind of let them have their privacy.

One of the most stressful parts of going on vacation is packing for that vacation, followed closely by unpacking from that vacation. You want to pack everything you need, but you also don’t want to schlep a lot, but you also are going for as many days as you can to somewhere that none of your stuff lives. 

Now that summer is over, arbitrarily, it’s time to send your kids back to school!  Or whatever, for all the good it’s doing.  Kids are definitely getting less and less intelligent with each passing year.

It’s weird – many of us, when asked, will say that we don’t fully trust the medical community.  But then we’ll go in for a procedure and lay there, unconscious, while the medical community roots around in there doing who knows what.  I mean, the paperwork we signed beforehand said what, but no one’s actually watching.  Maybe they put you to sleep so you don’t see the doctors frantically googling things.

There are more rewarding parts of parenting and there are less rewarding parts of parenting, but I would have to say one of the least rewarding parts of parenting is the part where you have to take the kids to buy shoes.  And you have to do this every time.  You can’t just do it once v’zehu. 

I’ve never really been a big hiking person.  The way I see it, most places you go are technically hiking.  A zoo is hiking with guaranteed animals.  A mall is indoor hiking with gradually-increased weightlifting.  But the activity we call “hiking” is just the hiking part.  Nothing else.