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A few months back, I wrote an article complaining about how many waking hours of Purim we spend in the car.  It’s almost all of them, we figured out.  But in my excitement to complain about Purim, I totally forgot how many waking hours of Chanukah we spend in the car. 

When I was growing up, if you were sick, you went to a doctor.  Those were strange times.  Nowadays, if you’re sick, the doctor doesn’t want to see you.  I mean, you’re sick!  If doctors saw sick people all day, every day, do you know what their life expectancy would be?

Today’s topic is “How to Clean Oil Out of Things.” Never mind why. Let’s get to work:

How to clean oil off the laminated brachos cards your kids made, between the lamination and the paper:

Most criminals, if you had to guess, do so for the money.  Or revenge.  But apparently, there are some people out there committing crimes for other reasons.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell what the reasons are.  Some of these people aren’t even criminals – they’re just normal people getting carried away, and then arrested.  And some of these people are doing things that make you say, “But why would someone commit that crime in the first place?” 

This week’s article might be a little hard to understand, because I have *cough*cough*cough*cough* a cough. I can’t get through one *cough*cough*COUGH*cough*COUGH* sentence without coughing.  Even typing a sentence, apparently. 

I hate washing dishes.  Especially on melted cheese night.  My kids are melting cheese on everything.

I’m like, “Don’t have so much cheese.  How about some vegetable soup?”