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Welcome back to “How Should I Know?” – the column that answers the questions that readers are itching to ask.

The thing I discovered, as a mascot at my kids’ day camp, is that all kids want to know is who’s inside the costume.  Even though the whole point of the costume in the first place is that the character on the outside is more interesting to kids.  Inside the costume, I’m just another adult, albeit a sweaty, dehydrated one.  Who’s not wearing much under the costume, because it’s a million degrees in there, though he’s the only one who knows it. 

Quick, how do you convince people to move to the town you’re living in?  I need to know, because they’re coming for Shabbos.

As a humor columnist, there are things that come up that you have to write about whether you want to or not, or else no one around you will let you hear the end of it.

My shul is moving.  To be fair, it’s been “moving” for about two years now.  But it’s actually moving as I’m writing this.  I’m supposed to be helping. 

So you’re getting married this month!  Mazel tov!

Unfortunately, everyone’s getting married this month, baruch Hashem, except for the people who are already married, and all the halls are booked.  So you have to get creative.