News

The Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is a serious time, and we do a lot of things in all seriousness.

This week’s column is about stiff necks.  Nothing to do with the fact that many of us slept in the sukkah last week.

Stiff necks are a real pain in the neck.  (Ouch.)  (Ouch for that too.)  And they always strike without warning.  They just sneak up behind you – often while you’re sleeping – and before you can turn around, they’re upon you!  And then you can’t turn around.

The Aseres Yemei Teshuvah is a serious time, and we do a lot of things in all seriousness.

But in all seriousness, it’s sometimes difficult for our kids to tell which things are minhagim and which we just happen to do.  So you should really take the time to talk to your kids about it.  Sooner than later, especially if your minhag is not to talk on Yom Kippur. 

A new study in Britain says that driving makes people less intelligent.  And I say, “Baruch Hashem.”  I thought it was just me. 

But that does explain a lot.  For example, it explains why pedestrians have the right of way.

Whenever you want to go anywhere, there’s traffic.  And people know this.  That’s why when you get there, everyone asks, “How was traffic?” 

“Traffic was the best.  I got a lot of thinking done.  Also, my right leg is now about six times stronger than my left leg.  I can kill a turtle.”

But there has to be some way to avoid it, right? 

I will freely admit that I don’t understand how dry cleaners work.  How do they get that stuff clean?  And without water!

Everyone says, “They use chemicals.”  They say it like they’ve solved the ancient mystery of dry cleaning: “It’s chemicals!”