Queens Jewish Link
Connecting the Queens Jewish Community 
Job Listing
Dear Editor:
Wanted: a person (preferably male) age 35 and up for a high-level federal job. Hours: 10-4 Monday-Thursday and no calls after 8 p.m. Extended weekends and federal, religious, and no alternate side of the street parking days off.
The Most Predictable Assassination Attempt Ever
Dear Editor:
The attempted assassination of Donald Trump might be the least shocking, near cataclysmic event to occur in our political history. For years, we have been told lies that if Donald Trump is elected, he will be a fascist dictator who will end our democracy. Apparently, the entire left-wing media has forgotten that, unlike Biden, Trump actually governs as a political moderate, because comparisons to Hitler are commonplace among left-wing media outlets.
Dear Editor:
There are some indiscretions that I’ve committed that I want to own up to. The first apology goes to all the supermarkets in the Tri-State Area. Yes, I’ve used your wagons and have not returned them to their rightful places. Instead, I’ve left them by the area of my parking space while justifying my lack of consideration to inclement weather. It’s either too hot, too cold, too windy, or too rainy to walk the several feet to return the cart to its rightful place.
Onomatopoeia
Dear Editor:
Ahh! The sweet sounds and smells of summer: the sizzling barbecue, tweeting birds, and whirring air conditioners. These sounds are the onomatopoeia of summer. (I always wanted to use that word.)
Dear Editor:
On behalf of the current and past parents of Bnos Malka, I want to publicly thank Michael Salzbank for his incredible 11 years of dedicated service as Executive Director (and so much more!) of Bnos Malka Academy. There’s no way to put into words how much Mr. Salzbank meant to us and to BMA. But here’s a small glimpse.
Blah-Blah
Dear Editor:
Okay, whose bright idea was it to change all gas pumps to self-serve pumps? Sure, my son-in-law showed an inordinate amount of patience with me when he attempted to teach me how to pump my own gas. Unfortunately, my attention span is about five seconds, and everything after that is “Blah, blah, blah.” I was going to move to New Jersey until my husband’s aide made me do it myself after watching him pump the gas first.
