The essence of life is growth and progress, as we strive to fulfill our true purpose. And as we explained in our previous article, the only way we can genuinely change, transform, and evolve is if we have the capacity to assert our inner will and to create a new reality within ourselves. This requires a complete re-creation of self within our consciousness — a remolding of our inner world. While yesterday we were the type of person who did one thing, today a new decision is formed and a new reality is created within our inner world.
This requires a complete assertion of willpower, an overcoming of self, and a breakdown and reformation of inner drive and character. This means giving up who we are for who we want to be; sacrificing what we think we want for what we truly want. It means overcoming the emotional and overwhelming pull of current desire and generating a new “want” within our very core.
This is why the Rambam places his seemingly philosophical discussion of the concept of free will amongst the halachos of teshuvah; free will is the very root and foundation of Hilchos Teshuvah. Without free will, one could never change and one could never become something else, someone new, and someone better.
Strikingly, Rav Eliyahu Dessler explains that many people never experience a true assertion of their free will due to its immense difficulty. This is why many people do not change. Change is hard, uncomfortable, and often requires sacrifice. One must fully and wholeheartedly believe in their new future in order to give up their current lifestyle. However, when we push with all our might, expressing a full force of our inner will, we get a taste of truth, an experience of destiny, and a glimpse of our true self.
However, this understanding of teshuvah, namely, that of return, has an even deeper layer to it. After all, if teshuvah is an act of return, what — or whom — are we returning to?
Teshuvah: A life’s journey
Genuine teshuvah is not just about fixing our mistakes in Elul and Tishrei; it’s about self-expression, returning to our true and higher selves. As we previously discussed, while we were in the womb, we were in a perfect and transcendent state of being, and a malach taught us kol haTorah kulah.
As the Vilna Gaon explains, this refers to the deepest realms of Torah, a transcendent Torah that lies far beyond this world, beyond the confines of space and time.
This Torah is the very root of reality, and you were granted complete understanding of its every detail. Not only were you shown this level of Torah, but you also learned your specific share of Torah; you were shown your unique purpose in the world and how your unique role fits into the larger scheme of the human story as a whole. You were given a taste of your own perfection, of what you could, should, and hopefully will become.
And from this transcendent realm, you were birthed into the physical world with the mission to actualize everything you were shown in the womb while in your primordial, perfect state.
In essence, your job in this world is not to create yourself but rather to recreate yourself; to re-attain your original state of perfection, as you were shown by the malach. This time, however, it must be done through free will — by choosing to become great. Only by overcoming challenge and difficulty, and only by asserting your willpower, can you fulfill your true potential. In essence, our entire life is a story of teshuvah — returning to our original, higher, true self.
Breaking momentum
We can now return to our original question regarding how to stop the downward momentum of failure and bad decisions. The answer is a simple, single-word answer: decide! Choice is the most powerful tool Hashem has granted us. The power of choice allows us to accomplish anything.
When life begins to fall apart and bad decisions start piling up, we must cut off the downward momentum before it grows out of control and before it destroys us. The key is making the decision, asserting your inner will, and focusing its full force toward cutting off the momentum.
If you can stop the momentum of bad decisions, of a lifestyle that is draining the life out of you, you can stop it from spreading. With nowhere to spread, negativity is like a flame without oxygen; it simmers out and disappears.
It all starts with a single decision to turn the tide — to begin building positive momentum, to start climbing uphill, and to start heading toward your ultimate destination. If you can take that first step and push toward your greatness, you will suddenly begin riding that new wave. This is the power of choice; this is the power of positive momentum.
Failed or failure?
The single most important psychological factor involved in this decision is our response to failure. When we fail, we often become convinced that we are a failure. We believe that by making a mistake, we become the mistake. We integrate past experience into our present identity, and we therefore lose faith in ourselves, our hopes, and our values. As a result, we begin to cascade downwards, sliding with negative momentum.
The key to avoiding this slide is to disconnect our failures from our identity. We all fail; we all have times where we give in to temptation and do things that we regret. But failing does not make you a failure. It makes you human — a work in progress; someone who is growing and learning.
If we learn to view our failures as learning opportunities and as wake-up calls, instead of perceiving them as crippling obstacles, we can use them to grow and improve. When we make a bad decision, we cannot let ourselves get depressed. Regret and remorse are essential, but we cannot get lost in these feelings. They must be used in a healthy, balanced, and positive way.
When we slip up, take a step backward, and fall down a notch, we have to immediately stop the downward movement, pick ourselves back up, learn from our mistakes, and continue our upward climb. This is the character of one who has a growth mindset — one who does not get crushed by life but learns from it instead.
The power of decision
It is therefore no surprise that the Torah is replete with lessons about the importance of will and the power of decision. An opinion is quoted in the Gemara that man was created in Nisan. Why then do we celebrate Rosh HaShanah in Tishrei? Tosafos suggests that although Hashem created the world in Nissan, His decision to do so took place six months earlier on the first of Tishrei. The decision itself serves as a form of creation, which is why man is considered to have been created in Tishrei.
The root of teshuvah
Free will — choice — is the root of teshuvah. Teshuvah is about re-engineering our will, recreating our desire, and rewiring our wants. It’s about the decision to be better, to be great, to become our best and truest selves.
As the Ramchal explains in Mesilas Yesharim, if you change what you want (akiras ha’ratzon), you change who you are. When you make a new decision, you create a new reality for yourself.
When the shofar blows this year, let us truly awaken. In some sense, we all need a shofar for the shofar; we need a wake-up call to listen to this year’s wake-up call. Many are numb to the wordless blast, deaf to its existential calling. Some have given up on change, while others are too busy with life to stop and truly consider the possibility of more, of a greater life.
May we all be inspired to fully utilize this idea, to embark on a journey of genuine teshuvah, and to continue the process of becoming our ultimate selves.
Rabbi Shmuel Reichman is the author of the bestselling book, The Journey to Your Ultimate Self, which serves as an inspiring gateway into deeper Jewish thought. He is an international speaker, educator, and the CEO of Self-Mastery Academy. After obtaining his BA from Yeshiva University, he received s’micha from RIETS, a master’s degree in education, a master’s degree in Jewish Thought, and then spent a year studying at Harvard. He is currently pursuing a PhD at UChicago. To invite Rabbi Reichman to speak in your community or to enjoy more of his deep and inspiring content, visit his website: www.ShmuelReichman.com.