Did you notice that when a crisis hits and your mood drops, you may, for the first time, question what your purpose in life truly is? Until such a time, you may have taken quite a bit for granted. Perhaps you looked forward to things despite struggling with the minor inconveniences of daily life.

Since this setback or tragedy, you actually wonder how on earth you will find the will or courage to even continue. What gives your life its meaning? Is it your work, your family, the pursuit of your interests? If you, heaven forfend, lose those things, you can feel as though you lost the entire purpose of your life.

Small efforts such as having coffee with a friend or retreating into a book simply cannot compensate for the ravaging loss. Many are alive but truly do not feel as though they are. We go through the motions of daily life, but we humans need reasons to remain full of hope and promise.

You must, of course, try your best in whatever way you know how to remain purposeful and reassured. You may know someone who has managed to crawl back from the darkness of sadness and suffering. Oftentimes they will share the reasons they believe they are still here and still spreading acceptance, faith, and firm belief.

Many who have endured and coped with suffering will go on to support a cause close to their heart. Some will become more loving toward family and friends. But all must find a reason to simply go on.

You are tougher than your toughest days. Indeed, you are a tough cookie. Speaking of cookies, you know that chocolate is nature’s way of making up for Mondays. I’d say that I’m one cookie away from being happy. It’s been said: You can be miserable before you have a cookie, and you can be miserable after you have a cookie, but you are never miserable while you are eating a cookie.

But honestly, do you feel like you are one pocket caught on a door handle away from a complete meltdown? Frankly, none of us will get through life unscathed or unharmed in some way. So how do you deal with hard times? Sometimes it’s like trying to find the remote in the sofa cushions; you just have to keep digging. As always, humor is your best friend. If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough. After all, laughter is truly life’s shock absorber.

Have you had your fill of every kind of unpleasantness, too? Do search for a way to live lightheartedly despite the atrocities. Indeed, your pain is justified. Yet we know how imperfect life can be. Ruminating on your misery will surely make you melancholy and joyless.

Just keep going, sweet friends. The autumn leaves will soon put on a colorful show. Your innocent child or grandchild is still waiting to grasp your hand for that vanilla cone with sprinkles you promised him last week. It’s been said: Everyone knows that ice cream is worth the trouble of being cold. Like all things virtuous, you have to suffer to gain the reward.

Despite the horror in the world, or your personal loneliness or shame, look for the light. Say “yes” to your blessings and the universe. You do have a share of the Divine within you. Learn to accept with grace that many things in life will simply not go right.

We need to learn to transcend the heaviness and heartsickness of this world with lightness and gentleness. Instead of bemoaning your fate, embrace humor and stubbornly look on the bright side of life. It’s been said: Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase; just take the first step.

I know. You tried looking on the bright side, but it hurt your eyes. Look at it this way: At least Monday only happens once a week. It’s all about which way you look. We all have dark and light within us. Which do you choose? Do roses have thorns, or do thorns have roses?

Caroline is a licensed psychotherapist, crisis counselor, and writer with an office in Queens.  She works with individuals, couples, and families.  Appointments are available throughout the week and weekends.  She can be reached at 917-717-1775 or at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or at facebook.com/pages/Safe-Haven-Healing.